Summary: Ten years ago, Izaya had told him with a bright smile, "If you want my affection so bad, you'll have to earn it. Fight for it. Catch me, and I'll be yours."
And so, for ten years, Shizuo had done just that.
Catch me if you can
Posted: 06/01/2021
Status: Completed
A decade ago, Izaya had told him with a bright smile: “If you want my affection so bad, you’ll have to earn it. Fight for it. Catch me, and I’ll be yours.”
And so, for ten whole years, Shizuo had done just that. Anytime he caught sight of him, he would give chase, try to get his hands on him by any means possible. Anytime the volatile man framed him, sent gangs after him, tried to ruin his reputation, he would fight back.
That was their dance, Izaya would run, Shizuo would chase, but never managed to catch him.
Until one day he did, and everything ended.
That night had gone wrong in many ways, but the one ‘good’ thing that had happened, was that Shizuo had finally caught him. Izaya wasn’t running anymore, he had him.
But that was also the moment he realized it had all gone too far.
Izaya was finally there, facing him, not fleeing. But it wasn’t because he had finally accepted Shizuo, not at all.
He had said he wouldn’t give his affection to someone who wasn’t willing to fight for it, but that had been inaccurate. Rather, the only person who would be deserving of his love was the one who would kill him.
So Shizuo complied.
A flashbang and some gunshots later, Izaya had disappeared. Once more, he had run.
And Shizuo didn’t chase.
…
“Do you know why I chased him around so much, even though everyone told me to simply ignore him?” He had asked Celty one day, as they were taking a break in a park.
She hadn’t bothered to write an answer, only twisting her body towards him to indicate she was listening.
“He told me he’d be mine if I caught him.” He said, gazing up at the sky above. He could sense his friend jump in surprise and chuckled at her reaction. “Stupid right? All this destruction and chaos, all for a teenage crush I didn’t let go of.”
“I couldn’t let it go.” He continued; his tone was somber. “Because, after our first fight, I knew. I just knew I wouldn’t find anyone else but him. But that guy, he doesn’t trust easily. I don’t think he knows how to, so he wanted proof, I guess? If I fought every step of the way to make him mine, it was proof I really wanted him. Or something like that.”
He sighed, laying back with a dejected expression.
“Maybe that night he realized he still couldn’t accept me, so he decided to end it all. I almost killed him then, but you saved him, didn’t you?” He slightly tilted his head towards Celty, whose shoulders stiffened, but then relaxed in a dejected manner. She nodded her helmet, and he gave her a soft smile.
“Thanks. Truly.”
She took her phone and hesitated, then started typing slowly, unsure of what to say exactly. When she finally showed him the screen, the sentence was quite simple.
[What will you do now?]
He hummed in thought.
“I thought about giving up on him. I almost did. I’ve been celibate my whole life, I think I’d be able to keep going like this, I have friends and family, it’s not that lonely anymore.”
He gave her a sweet smile, and had she had her head, her expression would have surely mirrored his.
“But then I thought about him. He doesn’t have anybody who’s close to him. Maybe he holds some affection for his sisters and Shinra, but even to them, he doesn’t open himself up. He’s alone, much more than I am. And he was ready to die just to stay that way.”
He clenched his fists.
“I want to fix this. Our…relationship, if you can even call it that. I want to help him learn to trust, if not me, then at least the few people he holds dear.”
He felt Celty rub his shoulder in a soothing pattern, then she presented him her phone again after some more tapping.
[It’s hard for me to emphasize with him, but… If anyone can help him, I think it’s you. If there truly is good in him, then, of all people, I think you’d be able to bring it out.]
She took back her phone, went to tap more text, then paused. In a gesture that would have looked like a nervous sigh on a non-headless person, she went back to tapping.
When she showed the phone again, Shizuo’s heart made a huge leap of excitement.
[I know where he lives.]
…
[There’s no guarantee he still lives there, but it’ll take more than that to make you give up, right?]
Shizuo had taken various trains and taxis to get to his destination. And for once, fate had decided to have some mercy on him, it seemed, because he hadn’t even needed to enter the building to find the man he was looking for.
“Shizu-chan.” The voice had spoken in a flat tone that had ironically betrayed the man’s emotional state.
When he turned to look at the owner of the voice he had missed so much, he had to do a double take. There Izaya…not stood, but sat in a seemingly custom-made wheelchair. No doubt did he end up in that state because of their last fight, he had violently thrown him against a wall and through a glass window, among other things. There was no way his spine hadn’t suffered lasting damage. He had been standing towards the end, but Shizuo knew better than most just how powerful adrenaline could be.
Izaya was sitting straight, his hands clenched tight on the arm rests. His expression was carefully neutral, but Shizuo could see the wariness in his red eyes.
“How did you find me?”
“Celty.” Shizuo answered plainly.
Izaya heaved a sigh. “Figures.”
They stared at each other in silence for a few minutes, each waiting for the other to relent, until, finally, Izaya gave up and headed for the entrance of the apartment building. Shizuo watched him go, but didn’t follow, deflating at the apparent rejection.
Then, Izaya stopped right before the front door.
“Well, are you coming or did you just come to say hi?” He quipped, not turning around to look at Shizuo. Shizuo perked right up and ran up to him, following him inside.
The elevator ride to Izaya’s floor was made in awkward silence, neither man willing to start a conversation just yet. Despite that, Shizuo didn’t feel discouraged. After all, Izaya had, in his own roundabout way, asked him to keep chasing him, had he not?
Even if things were now different, and would never go back to being the same, there was still hope for them.
Shizuo would make things right. He would make Izaya understand how he felt.
The ‘ding’ announcing their arrival was the only sound disturbing the heavy silence. Izaya wheeled himself down the corridor and stopped in front of his door, making quick work of opening the lock and getting in.
He didn’t bother inviting Shizuo in, the ex-bartender following him inside without a second thought and closing the door behind himself.
Only when the door was closed did Izaya finally turn his chair around to face Shizuo with a tense but determined stare.
“Now that we’re here, what do you want with me?” He demanded.
“Everything.”
“Please elaborate, protozoan. I’m afraid I didn’t suddenly develop the ability to read amoebas’ thoughts.” Izaya’s voice was calm and even, but each of his words was pure poison injected directly into Shizuo’s veins.
Good thing poison had stopped affecting Shizuo years ago.
“It’s just what I said. I want all of you.”
Izaya stared through him, unflinching. “So, what, now that I can’t run anymore, you think you finally caught me? That I belong to you? Don’t make me laugh.” He smiled a vicious smile.
“No.” Shizuo stayed calm, which clearly irked Izaya, who tensed in his chair.
“Then what is it? What do you want me to say? What do you want from me?!” He spoke louder, anger seeping through his tone.
“I want to stop this, Izaya.” He said, and Izaya froze at the firm tone. Shizuo stepped closer to him, now less than a meter away from him. Izaya looked away from the sheer intensity in the golden eyes, preferring to glare at his own lap instead. Shizuo got to his knees to be at eye-level with Izaya.
“This,” he continued, “I’ve had enough of it. I’ve chased you for over ten years, Izaya. I fought for you, against you. If you still don’t want me, then that’s fine, tell me and I’ll leave and that’ll be it. But I think I did enough to show you how much I wanted you.”
Shizuo took both of Izaya’s trembling hands in his, holding them in the gentlest of grips. They both looked at their joined hands rather than at each other. Izaya kept silent.
“You have me, Izaya. Despite everything, despite how much you ran, how much you threw at me…I’m yours. It’s up to you to decide what happens next.” Although Shizuo’s voice had been steady until now, it broke off at the end. Startled by the choked sound, Izaya snapped his gaze up and gasped the sight.
Shizuo was crying, usually handsome features distorted into a pained grimace.
“If you don’t want me then just say so! But please don’t make me do this again, don’t make me hurt you like that ever again, don’t make me kill you ever again.” He pleaded, and that was what did it for Izaya.
He removed his hands from the gentle grip, earning himself a pitiful sob that tore at his heartstrings, and instead moved them to Shizuo’s shoulders. He pulled on him and brought the much bigger man in his arms, surrounding him in a warm embrace. Shizuo clung to him.
“I’m sorry.” Izaya finally spoke, his own voice was shaky with emotion. “I’m so sorry, Shizuo.”
All this time, what he thought was simple stubbornness to possess the object of one’s affections like he had seen in so many humans, had actually been devotion. Devotion to someone undeserving like him, someone who didn’t even know what he wanted, what he felt.
“Please.” He heard the answer muffled by his own arms. “Reject me or accept me, but don’t leave me hanging anymore. Ten years was enough.”
Izaya put one hand on top of Shizuo’s head, the other still cradling the blonde, and started petting the soft, messy hair.
“You know things are never this easy with me.” Izaya said sadly. He could feel Shizuo’s hands on his shirt tense. “And my way of doing things certainly didn’t help, I know that now.” He hesitated a bit. ”…That’s why, I’d like to, you know…try it out again. Your way. I’ve always admired how simple you were, you know. You feel things, and you express them honestly. I’ve never been able to do that. Even now…ah, well, I’m sure you can hear I’m having some trouble here.” He let out a self-depreciating laugh.
Shizuo had gone silent in his arms, but the more Izaya rambled on, the more relaxed he became. Because he was starting to understand what Izaya was trying to say. He was willing to start over, despite their shared history, despite the way they kept hurting each other physically and psychologically.
Because Izaya, too, knew.
They only had each other.
Shizuo huffed, but lifted his head from Izaya’s lap to give him a crooked smile.
“Then…come back with me. To Ikebukuro. Let’s try again.” He said as he brought their foreheads together. Izaya closed his eyes, appreciating the gesture.
”…Alright.”
And that was that.
A few weeks later, Izaya had moved back to Tokyo. He didn’t move back into his old Shinjuku apartment, selling it to start living in a smaller, single-story (he couldn’t really climb stairs anymore, could he?) one instead.
Oh, and this one was in Ikebukuro, per Shizuo’s adamant request.
He hadn’t really announced his return to anyone yet, aside from Shinra with a call and Shiki with a simple email. They had both seemed pleased to have him back, oddly enough, Shinra in particular talking his head off about how rude it was of Izaya to not even call once and disappear for a whole year like that!
Maybe some people had cared about him a little, after all.
But rumors spread fast in Ikebukuro, especially with the Dollars website still active.
He had been minding his business, simply doing some late-minute groceries because Shizuo had decided to come visit his new home that evening and had only told him today. He was on his way back home, grocery bag on his lap, when he was startled by a familiar voice.
“Wait, isn’t that Iza-Iza? Heeeeey! Iza-Iza!” And there came screaming Erika, announcing both their presences to the world. Various onlookers turned to look at her then at Izaya himself. He could hear murmuring, and he swore he saw some people snapping photos, no doubt to post on the Dollars forums.
Ah well, peace was nice while it lasted, he supposed. He sighed.
“Hello Karisawa.” He greeted politely just as he slipped his hand in his pocket, keeping a steady grip on his phone in case he needed to call Shizuo for help if things went south.
“So, you’re alive after all! You know, lots of people thought you were dead!” She said with a bright smile and, alright, he certainly deserved that one. He smiled back at her.
“Unfortunately, I am very much alive, although a bit banged up, as you can see.” He gestured at himself and the chair.
“Yo.” He heard Kyohei greet him casually as he appeared behind Erika, accompanied by Walker.
“Long time no see, Dota-chin. I see the van gang in incomplete today.”
“Don’t call me that. And Hijiribe Ruri is giving a concert today, so Saburo went to see it.”
“Ah, business as usual, then.”
And just like that, they fell back into casual conversation, nobody mentioning the chair or the reason for its existence.
Of course, that had been when the not-beast decided to show up.
“Oh, hey.” Shizuo greeted the whole group casually, and the three-fourths of the Van Gang stiffened up as he came closer. Erika and Walker moved to hide Izaya with their bodies, but of course, there was simply no hiding his scent.
He came up to them and looked right behind them.
“Hey, Izaya.”
“Hey yourself, Shizu-chan.”
Most people had cleared the way when they spotted the Fortissimo and Informant together in the same spot, expecting the infamous fights to start over again. Instead, they had simply greeted each other like old friends.
“What’s that?” Shizuo asked, pointing at the bag on Izaya’s lap.
“Groceries, since a certain someone decided to tell me he was dropping by at the last minute.”
“Don’t you have food at home?” Shizuo tilted his head to the side much like a curious puppy would.
“I do, for one person with a normal stomach. Not for two people, one of which has a black hole instead of a stomach.” Izaya said smoothly with a relaxed smile and, instead of getting angry, Shizuo huffed in amusement.
“Right, right, my bad. Here, let me carry that.” He said and took the bag without waiting for Izaya’s answer.
“So…” A voice interrupted their casual banter. “Are you getting along, now?” Kyohei had asked the both of them, seemingly nervous to see them in close proximity of each other yet not fighting. Next to him, Walker and Erika seemed both curious and wary.
“Indeed.”
“Yeah.”
They both answered at the same time, and Erika beamed.
Before she could go on another tirade about BL and ships, Izaya beckoned her closer, and she crouched down so he could whisper something in her ear. She stood there frozen for a few seconds, then…
“OH MY GOD! I KNEW IT!!” She stood back up, screaming jovially at the sky, then taking a confused Walker to spin him in an impromptu dance. Kyohei sighed.
“I’m afraid to ask what you told her.” He said to Izaya, who just winked.
“It’s a secret~” He told Kyohei while Shizuo, who had since guessed what Izaya had told the woman, huffed a laugh.
“Well it won’t stay one for long, now.” He said and ruffled a giggling Izaya’s hair.
Kyohei didn’t understand exactly what had happened since that one night, but…
He was happy his friends were finally getting along, after everything.
…
Later that day, on the Dollars forums.
[NEWS FLASH: ORIHARA IZAYA IS BACK IN TOWN AND HE’S FUCKING HEIWAJIMA SHIZUO]
[WHAT. Kahlua Milk please explain. How do u know that.]
[My sources are confidential. But here are some pics. Enjoy! ♥]
[Image file]
[Image file]
[Image file]
[Holy shit.]
[Gurl, I owe u my life]
[Is that really them? Also, what’s up with that chair?]
[Idk if theyre ‘fucking’ as you so eloquently put it, but they seem to at least be friends. I wonder what happened to make them get along suddenly?]
[THE SHIP SAILS]
[THE SHIP!!!!!!!]
[Kahlua Milk isn’t the only one with pics btw, behold!]
[Image File]
[Image File]
[The chair, guys?]
[ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ]
[＼(≧▽≦)／]
[I’m so happy I could cry!!!!!!!!]
[too late I’m crying]
[*SCREAMS*]
[I saw them get groceries together earlier today! I wish I had my phone with me then, I could have taken some nice pictures…]
[well I don’t really care about all that shipping nonsense]
[but does this mean no more fights?]
[too bad, I was kinda hoping that guy came back so we could see more vending machines flying]
[it was kinda fun tbh]
[So nobody is going to mention the chair?]
[That’s rude!]
[that’s right, it’s not polite to bring attention to one’s disabilities]
[Were you raised in a barn?????]
[(＃`Д´)]
[( `ε´ )]
[????????????????????????]
[Well, this thread went places.]
[Here, let me just]
[Image file]
[Image file]
[Image file]
[Image file]
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[Image file]
[SCREAMS WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE??????]
[*winks*]
[KUFUUTAROU PLEASE ANSWER]
[(^_<)〜☆]