Summary: Looking for a way home, Shiro finds a Keith. Just not his Keith.
Frozen Heart
Posted: 11/01/2018
Status: Completed
Author's note: See I'm not a writer but I had a mighty need to write this because I was having Feelings. Also not betaed and I am not a native speaker so there might be some mistakes, hope you enjoy this anyway!
For a long time, he floats in emptiness. Some sensible voice in the back of his head screams at him to just do something, that he should at least be alarmed about the fact that he was currently floating in some unknown space, with no visible way out and a screwed perception of time—how long has he been here? Seconds? Minutes? Years? He doesn’t know, and for some unfathomable reason, he doesn’t care. He feels calm. Serene.
He closes his eyes, and falls asleep.
…
When he wakes up, Shiro is bound, laying in some sort of cell…if that place can even be called a cell. It clearly isn’t a galra cell, as he knows from experience that even those reserved for the mostly harmless prisoners who were to be thrown in the gladiator ring like meat in a starved beast’s cage had tight security and perfectly smooth surfaces that made it impossible to escape without outside help. Meanwhile, this cell has rough stone walls, the floor is dirt that could easily be dug into with enough determination, and the only thing keeping him from getting out is some rusty metal bars with a lock that’d be easy to pick, had he the right tools and any experience in lockpicking— which he doesn’t. The lack of surveillance is also telling. Whoever it is that locked him in here, they certainly weren’t prepared to have a prisoner.
He hears quiet footsteps echoing on the dirty hallway’s stone walls, familiar footsteps, but also…not. He soon sees the face of the person those footsteps belong to, and his mind goes blank.
His face is mostly covered by a thick scarf, and his furred hood hides most of his hair, but he’d recognize those piercing eyes(or rather eye, seeing as the man’s right eye was hidden behind long, black curls) anywhere. Keith.
“You’re awake.” He says, in a flat, low tone, his voice rough and quiet, like he hasn’t talked in a very long time. He looks tired. Keith(?) wears a thick gray coat lined with white fur, his hands in thick leather gloves, and feet in brown boots, also lined with fur. Looking at the other man’s attire, Shiro is glad for his suit’s thermo-regulation, or he’s sure he would freeze to death in this place. Keith is holding a plate with some kind of hot concoction on it. Shiro isn’t sure he wants to know what it’s made of, but at least it’s warm, and he hopes, nutritive. Despite his current situation, Shiro feels strangely calm, like in that empty space he was floating in some time ago. “I’ll free your hands to let you eat, don’t try to attack me” or you’ll regret it goes unsaid. Shiro wouldn’t dream of attacking Keith unless they’re sparing anyway, but he still nods. Keith balances the plate on one hand, using the other to unlock the cell, then lock it behind him again. He places the plate on the floor next to Shiro, and undoes his bindings. “Sorry for the lack of furniture”, he says, “but I wasn’t really expecting anyone”.
“It’s fine” Shiro says as he deactivates his helmet and suddenly feels the cold air on his face. Keith gives him the…soup? Whatever it is, and Shiro looks at it warily, then at Keith, who shrugs. “You don’t want to know” Keith says simply. Shiro gulps, but still bring the bowl to his mouth, expecting the worst.
The taste is…surprising, but not disgusting. It is unlike anything he has eaten before, but not like Coran’s homemade dishes, more like some exotic food he is trying for the first time. It’s good. He gulps it down pretty quickly, not wanting it to get cold because of the low temperature. Keith watches him without a sound, sitting before him, legs crossed.
Shiro puts the bowl back on the plate, and reactivates his helmet to keep the heat the soup provided him. Then he looks Keith in the eye. Neither say anything. The atmosphere isn’t especially tense, but neither is it comfortable.
“So,” Keith starts, “who are you?” “I’m Shiro…and you’re Keith” Keith scoffs. “Heh, haven’t been called that in a while”, he looks to the side, “haven’t been called anything, really”. Shiro eyes him. Keith looks tired, worn down. He looks resigned, like he fought for too long and now wishes for nothing but to simply…stop. He looks like he’s tired of living, Shiro doesn’t know what’s kept him alive for so long. Keith probably doesn’t either.
“You’re not my Shiro” he says matter-of-factly, like he knew all along, and maybe he did. Shiro knows, knew from the moment he saw Keith that he wasn’t in the right time or place. This Keith was Keith, but he wasn’t home. And Keith knew that too.
“My Shiro is dead” Keith says, “I was there when he took his last breath. I burned his body, I scattered his ashes” his voice breaks, tears are forming under his eyes, and even Keith himself seems surprised by this. Like he thought he wasn’t capable of that anymore. Shiro wants to comfort him, he really does, but he is possibly the worst person this could come from, so he stays silent. Keith bites back a sob, wipes his visible eye. He probably only has that one left.
“Whoever you are, wherever you come from…this isn’t your place”.
Shiro smiles at Keith sadly. “I know,” he says, feeling some kind of tug in the back of his mind. He resists. Not yet, he thinks to whatever is trying to pull at him, let me help him. He can no longer be saved, a voice in his mind insists. Even then, let me try. The entity in his mind reluctantly gives up.
…
Shiro only stays a few days in that cell, Keith visiting him multiple times per day to feed him more of that strange soup. Eventually, Keith decides to let him wander around freely, so he explores Keith’s little nest, which is cozy despite the biting cold. It is very small and directly inside a mountain. Keith blocked off the only entry and exit to preserve the little “heat” he had in there. Apparently, the planet is made of nothing but ice and rock, the temperatures outside even colder than inside. He chose this specific cave to live in, not only because it could be brought to viable temperatures by closing the entry, but also because a special kind of gross-looking plant filled with all kinds of nutrients grew there. He has been eating nothing but that for years now. Shiro guesses that, under all those layers, he must be severely underweight. Shiro wants to chide him for recklessly eating some alien plant without knowing whether it was poisonous or not, but considering what happened before Keith came onto this planet, he thinks the other did not care whether he lived or not.
Shiro wants to help him. He can’t bear to see him so miserable.
“I’m not him, you know”, Keith says one day. “You’re not, but you’re still Keith” he answers, like it makes perfect sense. And it does, for Shiro. Even if this man is not his Keith, is not home, it pains him to see any Keith like that. Keith scoffs.
During the short time they spend together, Keith seems to cheer up a little, even if he’d sometimes look at Shiro with a pained look on his face. He wasn’t necessarily happier, but he seemed more…alive. They would have casual talks about many things, Shiro talked about his teammates, about their time at the Garrison, about his family… Keith never mentioned the past, but he had so much to say about all the planets he visited before settling here. Shiro was glad, but he couldn’t stay there forever.
“What about the others?” Shiro asks one day. Keith looks at him strangely, “who?” Shiro gives him a look that says you know who. Keith tenses, and looks down at his lap. “I don’t know,” he says, “I left without telling them. They probably replaced me”.
Shiro places a hand on Keith’s shoulder.
“You know I’ll need to leave eventually” Keith keeps his head low, resigned.
“But it doesn’t mean the end for you” Shiro continues, looking at Keith, who pointedly avoids his gaze.
“Keith, look at me”. And Keith does, reluctantly. “Will you promise me one thing?” …
They unfreeze Keith’s pod, which miraculously survived the cold thanks to the altean materials it is made of. Keith left without his paladin suit, but the inside of the pod can heat up just fine, so they don’t worry.
After making sure the pod still functions properly, Shiro takes Keith in his arms as he starts to feel light-headed. “Please, don’t stay alone. This was always a bad habit of yours” Keith makes a pained noise, and with that, Shiro blurs out of existence, Keith’s arms closing on nothing. Tears gather at eyes, and he tries to bite back a sob. He breaks down.
Hours later, the Castle of Lions intercepts a distress signal from an altean pod.
Promise me one thing. Live.