Summary: Lucifer muses.
Lucifer's thoughts
Posted: 11/10/2018
Status: Dropped
When you live as long as Lucifer, you inevitably forget things. Uneventful moments, routine, details deemed unimportant, which may or may not later come up when they turn out to be of utmost importance. But even among those things, some memories stand out more than others. The blue expanse of the skies, the unique taste of coffee and equally unique grimace of one particular archangel as he tastes it for the first time, the small blue flowers he helped grow in the garden (their garden), the soft brown wings to match equally as soft brown hair, his innocent curiosity (when did he stop asking questions on everything?), his blinding smile (when did that light start hiding such darkness?), the way he enthusiastically called his name (when did his name start sounding like something bitter, not like the coffee they often shared together, but like poison aimed right at his core?)…
Objectively speaking, as an archangel without purpose, Sandalphon should have been considered unimportant enough to eventually fade from Lucifer’s memories. And maybe he was considered such by many.
But not by Lucifer.
The moment his eyes first landed on his creation as he manifested from his cradle, Lucifer knew that this one would be special. His lack of purpose would give him complete freedom (or so he thought, but it only brought him despair and a sense of uselessness) and his complex and unsealed core would give him as much emotional depth as skydwellers (including feelings of abandonment and loathing). Lucifer made him to be a teacher of sorts to himself. Someone who could teach him to truly understand skydwellers on a personal level simply by existing, rather than theoretically from observing them from afar.
And, more selfishly, Lucifer wanted Sandalphon to teach him how to feel as he does.
Although, in the end, that selfishness of his caused many disasters.
And for that, he must repent.